Parenting

Why does this have to be so HARD?

Your kids are simply not doing what you know they need to “succeed.”

You’ve been there – done that. You know more than they do. If they would listen to you, they’d be fine.

But no. That’s not happening.

Now, you and your partner don’t even get along.

You guys are supposed to be on the same side here.

But now you fight with your spouse or partner over how to handle the kids. You resent the lack of unity and support.

You can both see it. You’re both worried that your child is ruining their future OR blaming yourselves for doing a poor job.

And everybody’s got an opinion

Friends or family offer advice – and you resent that, too.

If you’d wanted their advice, you’d have asked for it.

You feel like you’re failing – and it’s embarrassing. You’re even secretly beginning to resent your kid, sometimes.

Why won’t they TALK to you?

So, you’ve done all the same things with all the kids, and yet they’re all different. One or more are doing great, and one or more are pushing you to question your methods.

You find yourself lashing out – frustrated, feeling like you’ve tried everything.

You have sleepless nights and feel like you can’t control your children. You know it’s not supposed to be easy, but this is too much.

If you could get them to communicate with you, it would all be ok.

But you don’t know how to get through to them.

It’s about me, isn’t it?

Honestly, yes, this could be about you. It always is – to some degree. But don’t despair.

Together, we’ll review your goals and determine whether your current methods will get you where you want to be.

Some people parent a certain way just because they think it’s how they’re “supposed” to parent. No. We do what works for YOUR child – not what your neighbor says.

But it’s also about a lot more than you.

Parenting is NOT just about parent and child relationships.

But parenting also includes relationships among parents, their adult children, the marriage, remarriage, friends, and grandparents.

Did we say this was HARD???

During my years running parent groups, I would ask participants to list the challenges they experienced as parents. Group members went on and on – until the list reached the bottom of the board.

Then, I asked what part of parenting was most rewarding. Crickets.

The room remained silent for what seemed like an eternity – and then they all started chuckling. They were stumped. Understandable! Why?

Because the absolute truth is that it’s the hardest job in the world!

You take it seriously and WANT to do a good job! And you worry that you’re not, so you focus on the things that challenge you, cause you to stress, and try to control them.

In doing so, it’s easy to “over parent” because you think you “should.”

But it’s also rewarding!

Of course, we began to create a very fulfilling list of rewards.

But they were harder to pin down: Is it when they get an A? or pass? Is it when they do their chores? Or get a job? When they get in college?

Or get married? Or have kids of their own?

Or hold a door for an older person? Or when they become confident and happy with themselves?

Or because they became JUST like you??? Or NOT just like you!!!

It’s the hardest job you’ll ever have, and along the way, it’s hard to know when you’re up for a raise, a promotion, or a bonus – most of us with minimal training!

Get back in the game!

I get it.

You’re confused, worried, afraid you’re the only one in the world who sometimes resents your child (you’re not) and fearful that someone will find out, and you need some support.

But it’s going to be ok. Call me today at (203) 441-7060, ext. 701.

I’m a certified Positive Parenting Coach – which, for the record, does not mean the kids can get away with anything they want!

Together, we can get you suited up and ready to play your A-Game.

I will identify your goals. I can train you to see subtle responses or not so subtle responses that indicate how your child responds. Each child responds to certain things better than others.

We will create dialogue, behavior, and role modeling that steer your child toward self-driven improvement.

It will not take long to figure out what does NOT work, and this, we avoid.