Relationship Issues

It seems the littlest thing turns into a conflict.

To not upset your partner, you walk on eggshells. In a relationship, there are always three players: you, your partner, and ‘the couple.”

Each of these must be nurtured and respected. If you keep trying to fix your partner, you will fail. Have you forgotten how to treat your partner like the intimate partner they are? In a relationship, you must decide: Would you rather be ‘right’ or be in the relationship?

Feeling safe and trusted allows both people to be dependent and independent at the same time. Love does not control, manipulate, verbally, or physically abuse. Learn to see the warning signs so that you may ‘choose wisely and treat kindly.’

It’s just too hard.

You’re tired of it – you do all the work maintaining relationships with friends or your partner or spouse.

You might be right, yet you don’t know how to make a change.

Here’s the thing: to be in a successful relationship, you must be open to one another while at the same time never losing sight of your individual needs.

Or are you making it too hard?

If you set expectations on others that they can’t possibly meet, you will feel disappointed. That’s likely your own doing.

It’s easy to set yourself up to be hurt over and over.

Sometimes being ‘right’ – either for you or your partner – becomes more important than being together. That requires a decision… you have a choice – right or ‘the road.’

Or making it too easy?

Someone once said, “Sheep can be herded off any cliffside.” If you feel compelled to go along to keep the peace, to follow blindly, you have boundary issues.

In friendships, I’d like to help you create quality, not quantity. Quantity will follow naturally – if you so desire – but you’ll be able to choose and interact more wisely. Pick wisely – it’s your life!

If you are afraid to stand up for yourself, you’re not alone. If you feel attached or cannot stand to be alone, call me. If you recognize that you avoid conflict and are afraid to speak your mind, call me.

It can be a struggle to interact with others and maintain your independence if your interaction is from an inauthentic place. Stop placating others. Find out how to be assertive – not aggressive, assertive – not passive.

To be more independent, ACTUALLY means you build and sustain healthier, loving, loyal relationships. If you have relationships that cause anxiety or constantly have you feeling that you can’t trust, these relationships are unhealthy.

Gosh, where to start?

Let’s start with the basics.

You can’t avoid relationships. If you are successful in avoiding them, that tells me you’re in trouble.

You have to manage all relationships – whether with yourself, friends, spouse, or significant others. And they all require to give and take.

Strong interpersonal skills are the foundation of life well-lived. Learn what is and is not a healthy relationship. Explore what is healthy dependence and what is not. Know how to create healthy boundaries.

People can’t drive you crazy if you don’t give them the keys.

Let’s explore where you might be subjecting yourself, or others, to unneeded conflict.

We will work to negotiate a compromise; change your attitude about conflict by reframing it, so you do not see it as an attack; or, if all else fails – remove you from the toxic relationship.

Call me at (203) 441-7060, ext. 701, or email cliffordlamotta@gmail.com, and each scenario will be played out to your satisfaction in the safety of my office.